the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I think a kid would responsible me up
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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