I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
