I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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