Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
