Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I intend to get homeless drunk
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize