after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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