Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
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