He asked to "fluff my boner.."
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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