Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
