I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
