you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
