So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Found your dick twin last night
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
