Whod you bang
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
