I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
