3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
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