Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
