I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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