I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize