From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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