That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
