i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
