I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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