I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
