Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
