Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
