True but thats because hes a fetus.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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