I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
