He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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