So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
