Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
