how can u be prego again
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
