Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Randomize
