If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
