you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
