Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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