some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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