i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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