Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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