We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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