There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I would fuck him just for his dog
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
