he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
