That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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