She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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