I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize