I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
