I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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