My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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