yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Randomize
