Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
