please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
