His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
