Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
