Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Vodka?
Forever.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
