Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
