i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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