Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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