covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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