i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You ruined the universe
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
