You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
