Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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