He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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