Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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