sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
