I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
