Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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