Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
