Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
me + whiskey = a bad person
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
